The Uteen

This is the Wiki page for the Uteen, the concept is made by me, the user known as 'The Uteen'. It will be updated every now and then.

This page is here as a sentimental reminder.




As you should know, they can send hyperdimentional transitional hypothetical message-o-mats from the ultimate all-powerful mythical Uteen Citadel, but only normal transitional hypothetical message-o-mat from elsewhere. This is due to a old, huge extinct wormhole that the Citadel's system is on top of, creating a specific warp in space allowing a data transfer of just 3 bytes to and from other parallel universes. They are galactic, could go intergalactic, but waiting until they can create temporary wormholes so that it doesn't take 200 million years.


Plants, Rocks containing salt, certain sub-species of grubworm, humour.


  • The mouth has small teeth and its saliva reacts with certain household substances.
  • Eye to see, can see visible light except the 1/4 at the red end of the spectrum. They can also see UV and lower X-ray frequencies.
  • Very sensitive horn on the back of its head for sensing heat and wind direction, this can be disabled to allow use as a weapon without sensory overflow. The extreme sensitivity provides a weakness, however.
  • Sensitive things without a name in any earth language, but they say it as flblnagstro"""=bbbbpstivs. They are the wiggly things on its neck. They smell almost as well as human noses.
  • Claws for grasping things. Feet for walking and sfnsdl,cn (their version of handshakes, like footshakes)
  • Stripes to blend in, the atmosphere on their planet is very green-tinted, and they have lots of vine-like things in their habitat that end up almost horizontal, hanging from… But that's going off topic. That's why, anyway.
  • Arm textures to provide defence when doing what we would see as sort of arm fencing, it is a thing they do to show arm strength. Leg textures for the ritual afterwards for leg strength, they do all this to get a higher social ranking.


Very high tech, not quite godly yet, hyperspace tech, just invented the toothbrush.



They live on a very old planet, low gravity, and they have liquid methane instead of water (It's cold). The planet has 3 small moons, and they orbit fairly close to the planet, creating a total tidal force 2/3 of our moon between them. Two of the moons have colonies on them, the other was found to contain poisonous substances in the dust. The colonies have expanded in the centuries they have been there, and act as lower-gravity residence, primarily for retirement, as the low gravity easy on joints. The atmospheric composition is reliant on atmosphere filters that keep it stable. The star is estimated to go supernova in 2.5 centuries, in May, 37th (they use a different calendar, I only used 'May' to save from using the Uteen's dating system), about midnight (it takes 10 years for the planet to spin, however they still have their ancient calendar from when it only took 2).


They have tall bumpy trees that no longer require sunlight, they have developed an advance method of causing atomic fusion on touching particles, harnessing the resulting energy. It does not maximise surface area, any more surface and it becomes dangerous, the Uteen Citadel's Halloween kind of dangerous.
The vines I mentioned grow from one building to another, naturally they go for anything tall. They develop bright colours and patterns on them. They do this to look good. The Uteen did this by killing off ones that do not look nice. They suck energy from the things they hang from.
The final plant that lives on the planet are big mushroom-like things that are the size of trees. They feel rubbery and look smooth from below, but on the flat top part they have a rough, black, plastic-y surface that absorbs light.
The Grubworms are imported from the plant Karkoformeed, planet of the Karkojavs, mainly for being kept on farms, but some have been known to keep them as pets, but who wants a cute, legless rat staring at you all day, every day, wrinkling his nose in curiosity, but never getting over the curiosity because its brain is the size of a rubber-shaving? I have managed to get very high quality images of two subspecies of the Karkojav's tribal race, along with the local grubworm. (It was a struggle to stop the Karkojavs eating the grubworms, I had to bribe them with ten grubworms not to eat the grubworm until after the shot was taken to get the shot right)


Long ago, before the installation of the atmospheric filters, an age of terrible disaster killed all life but the tall, fusion plants, a few of the vines that began to grow like weeds that were back then ugly and sick-coloured, and one mushroom plant that later was cloned.

Interesting Technology

The toothbrush, which allowed the cleansing of the tooth, recently became a fashion rage, every Uteen clambering to obtain one. This was due to an out of control subliminal system that broadcast messages to every Uteen using their sensory horns, by not using radio waves, which cannot be picked up by the horns, but instead controlling the planet's winds to give a message: Buy 20.5 toothbrushes. The signal became too strong and caused riots and chaos, and many toothbrushes being snapped in two. Then it broke and the Uteen race felt stupid. Then they discovered the malfunction that caused the chaos and banned all advertising using those methods. Now they only put adverts is reasonable places, like dreams.


The name of the arm fencing they do is GGortinctu~~£gTiroßorFESnmactinouS***freddyouindesorminaldes (emphasis on the capitals and ~s). They have a government planet that is elected every 100 years, the elected planet then has votes through the entire population to decide on laws and courses of action. For some votes on actions the amount of time the radio signals take to get to and from the governing planet, the request is already 2 years out of date. Recently they have taken to using the transitional hypothetical message-o-mat to communicate, as it is utilises the ancient wormhole to send signals, which is significantly faster, as it uses 7 and 1/2 dimensions, instead of 3, which often wastes a lot of the fourth dimension.

Their leader is designated the title of 'The Ultimate Leader Almighty King-President-Etc'.


If you are not a Uteen, the devastation during Halloween, particularly in the ultimate all-powerful mythical Uteen Citadel, is difficult to describe without saying 'sreethoryinstroplop', so I'll just fetch an old hyperdimentional transitional hypothetical message-o-mat from the ultimate all-powerful mythical Uteen Citadel:

"Ahh… This halloween was great in the Uteen Citadel. We've just put our bodies back on, after some nice drifting around as spirits, and are proceeding to eat all of our sugar-filled crystallised grubworm imports from Karkoformeed! Yes, even that is a subspecies of grubworm! The sugar does react with our saliva, causing a giant radioactive explosion that destroys everything within a 5 meter radius (except for us), causing the planet to become an almost apocalyptic wasteland in many highly populated areas, but we've got it covered (in deep yellow banners, very spooky!). And now we get to use our new invention, the toothbrush!"

They have let us know the radiation levels will be back below uber-lethal level by Christmas, so we should feel free to pop round then. If anyone reading this does have a space-shuttle, including an external tank and solid rocket boosters, necessary for reaching space, then please send it in at…

Hang on, there's a strange, alien glow outside. Sorry, I've gotta go, it might be the Uteen police, they're after me for performing the second eating of the…

Christmas (Also known as 5%, &&£@, £)))))(g, and U)

Christmas is spelt 5% by The Uteen, it is purely coincidental they sound the same when pronounced. The 5 is used to replace The Uteens' proper symbol, which looks more like a hecatonicosachoron. At Christmas, the Uteen race prepares for the festive selling of other people's possessions. A popular person to sell the possessions of is The Ultimate Leader Almighty King-President-Etc, whole islands of his clothes are sold by peasants, to peasants, every year at this celebration of 5%!

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